Dream 5: Part 2
Abuse & Roleplay
In the [middle] of my dream, we all end up at the party. We’re celebrating the long-awaited launch of something. Two people (who I met through the same mutual friend) show up. Let’s call them Janet and Julia. I’ve known Janet and Julia for a long time (about 2 years), but we’ve never been really close. At the party, we exchange introductions and get seated at the same table. One of them starts gossiping about the bachelors at this party and how some of them are “prime real estate.” Janet and Julia start to fuss about what they hate in most men they meet, and how they usually can’t get past date number one — there is usually something “wrong” with the man that they are on a date with/currently seeing. Usually what is “wrong” with these men fluctuates between these three traits: poor. boring. not doting enough on them.
Sad isn’t it? I know, I feel the same way. After spending an hour with these two women, I’m fed up with all the negativity and how they can’t take responsibility for their own actions. I really hate to surround myself with people who see others in such a negative light, but sometimes I have no choice and have to keep up with appearances.
At the [end] of my dream, we’re sitting on the bus back home together. It’s a very long bus ride, and I have to keep hearing Janet and Julia fuss and complain. And I snap. I punch Janet in the eye and tell her she is spineless. I tell Janet that she usually dates men much older than her, and these men are only interested in her youth. I tell her she is stupid for looking for a reliable partner in them, because the right intentions aren’t there in the first place. I yell at her that she is stupid for repeating the same mistakes over and over again (becoming miserable after a terrible break up), yet expecting a better outcome. “You’re naive,” I tell her.
I then continue my rant at Julia. I tell Julia that she is too fussy. She’s never had intercourse with a man, because she can’t stand the fact that they may “mess up her hair” or some other lame excuse. She doesn’t like them to get too close, because they are “out to get her.” I tell her she is overly sensitive and a frigid bitch.
I wake up.
Symbolism (from dreammoods.com):
Women: To see a group of women talking in your dream refers to some gossip.
Abuse: To dream you are abusing someone suggests that your past actions will come back to haunt you. You may be expressing some regret or remorse over your actions.
Analysis: My dream is telling me that I often get frustrated with the people I meet in my day to day life. I’m always looking to make deeper and better connections with the people I meet. I don’t like to have my friends just come and go in my life – I’d like to keep them and I love exchanging valuable life lessons. After I punched Janet, I honestly felt really bad about it. When I woke up, I had the strongest urge to analyze this dream, because I never ever want to abuse someone. It’s not right.
The number 26 comes back into play here with karma. I think my dream is telling me that the problem lies within me. I should just learn how to manage my expectations of other people and not an abstract set of expectations for them. It’s not really fair, because those people never asked for it. To be placed on a pedestal is something I personally hate myself.
I came across this post from Spencer Greenberg’s blog and I think he has a better grasp on how to manage expectations with friends:
“…The alternative to having fixed expectations is to have adaptive ones. You try to expect from each person what your understanding of them predicts it is realistic to expect. You ask yourself, “given what I know about this person, what do I expect them to do in this situation?” and then you expect that.”
I know I have to be objective with myself, and define myself in comparison to other people (which I hate to do but need to change).