Dream 25 – October 27, 2014
Curiousity, Distress, and Shame
In the [beginning] of my dream, some friends and I decide to do something adventurous. We hear of this secret warehouse where your deepest desires come true. And the best part is, we don’t even tell “them” – “they” already have it figured out. That’s part of the fun, when something so deep down inside you is brought to light and you weren’t even aware of it. In the [middle] of my dream, we each take turns entering this secret room. It takes the entire day. Then it’s my turn. At the [end], when I enter the room, a heavily tattooed man is waiting for me. He tells me to sit in the big leather chair next to him, and I get a “J” tattooed on my mons pubis. I leave the room, and on the way home, my friends and I exchange stories. Some of them are really explicit. I tell them what happened to me and they all react. “Karen – we all know that ‘J’ stands for f*ckin J_ _ _ _. You always come to us cryin’ about how he’s never there. You’re going to have to pay to get that ugly shit removed…”.
The sad part is, I’m not upset at them. I know they’re right. That’s why it’s my “dark” secret – why I’m so tormented by someone who doesn’t give me the support and time I deserve. The desire I have for that person is ludicrous. And I want to control and change things, but know they won’t happen.